Being You
by Temporal Austenite
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale go on vacation in America-and a comment by a teen girl make them re-evaluate their relationship. Which means they start dating. Drinking, Dancing, and Fish included! MILD SLASH! Please Review! Rating because I worry! Now complete.
1. Character List

**BEING YOU**

A Short Tale written of Events after the Averted Armageddon, occurring in a small tourist town in America(where they have thirty nine flavors of ice cream).

With Footnotes of edificial purposes, written by Goblindreamer, with beta-reading by AChangeableMask.

**DRAMATIS PERSONAE**

**Supernatural Beings**

Aziraphale

An angel, part-time rare book dealer dragged away from London by

Crowley

A demon who did not just fall so much as saunter vaguely downwards and believes that everyone needs a vacation except for

Them

Which does not refer to a group of children so much as the Powers That Be who control the lives of many, including

Hastur

A duck of hell. Although he still works for Satan, he was punished, just like

Metratron

The Voice of God, despite his current appearance.

**Humans**

Laura

A Pagan who believes that being cheerful and friendly is the same as leading people astray.

Tara

A friend of Laura who believes that as long as someone else is around, she does not need to be half-way responsible.

David

A boy who is too smart for his own good.

Kyla

A friend of Laura who did not need leading astray.

Amanda

A girl who is just as smart as she thinks everyone in the world should be.

Hannah

A friend of Laura who is willing to be led astray so long as she can always go back.

Katherine

A girl who Laura does not lead astray. Because being led by Katherine is more interesting then leading her astray.

**With a Full Chorus of:**

Americans, Tourists, Concert-Goers and Karaoke Singers.


	2. America, Dancing, and Laura

_First, I want to thank my awesome beta reader for her help and for helping me work out plot points. Even at midnight when I'm going frantic attempting to figure out where they are, what they're doing and what happened with the sea lions. Definitely a writer's best friend. Second, I want to remind everyone that I do not own everyone's favorite main characters, or anyone else created by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I borrowed them with the best intentions, but without permission. Thirdly, I want to thank everyone who is taking the time to read this._

Aziraphale, not for the first time, wondered why he had agreed to go with Crowley for this vacation. He didn't love America, it was a very nice, place, it was, honest, just not his cup of tea. More exactly, he loved England. It was nice there. He understood the English. They were a set of people with the sort of common sense that he liked.

Americans, however, were a different sort of people. They drank coffee. They believed that vacations lasted for a two week period, and you did not need to come back from vacation well rested, and in a positive set of mind. You went on vacation in America, it seemed to the angel, just to say you'd been. You bought a postcard. You complained about the money you spent. And you didn't truly take in time to enjoy the sights because you had to buy your postcard and a useless trinket for your child in the gift-shop. Americans believed that New York was filled with sin and wretchedness. Everyone went to New York. Americans liked British accents, but didn't actually like the British, or at least not as much as the accents. To be honest, he didn't like the fact that _he_ was the one being seen due to his _accent_ and he was not able to see the sights.

He had taken the chance, in a tourist town in Southeastern Connecticut, to explore the downtown. He liked the downtown, since it was cleaner and less crowded than New York. The shops were eclectic, mostly small businesses, and interesting to look around. Even the bookshop, which was small, had a nice selection, even though they did not have anything he wanted. It was a nice town, he had decided, and no one wanted to take a picture with 'The Blonde Over There with the Funny Ass Accent'.

However, he felt Crowley had gone too far with his latest choice of meeting place. Aziraphale looked around wretchedly. After a few encouraging smiles, he started to awkwardly sway to the rock music that filled the little park. He silently cursed Crowley for choosing said park*.

Crowley smiled when he spotted the angel. It hadn't been hard to find him. There was a part of the crowd where no one was dancing. This only happened for one of two reasons-either all of the security guards had grouped together, or humanity had convinced an angel to dance. Everyone had managed to look away from the middle**, so it must have been the latter. He strolled directly into the group, with only distance related difficulty. The crowd thinned out the closer he got to the angel, and there was only one American within two feet of the angel: A seventeen year old girl whose mass of black hair, shocking yet tasteful black eyeliner, and knee-length green dress above worn combat boots practically screamed 'pagan'.***

She had a death grip on Aziraphale's hands, and was attempting to teach the angel to dance.

"You dance dreadfully." Crowley heard her say.

Crowley stepped up to them, "I've been telling him that for the last 6,000 years…?"

"Laura." She stepped away from the angel, "He _said_ he was waiting for someone," She said, conversationally, looking the demon up and down, "He's…cute, I suppose, Aziraphale," She turned to face Crowley, "You _would_ be Crowley, yeah?"

"Yes."

"And you're together?" She squealed, "How cute! It's quite alright here, you know. I suppose that's why you came. Really though, Connecticut is the best place if you're looking to make it permanent." her cell phone rang and she made a face at the name before she picked up, "No, Mom, I got kidnapped," She paused, "Nah, I'll meet you there." She gave them a quick wave good-bye and a knowing wink as she walked away.

As Aziraphale dragged Crowley out of the crowd, he asked, in all innocence, "What did she mean, 'together'?"

Crowley stared at him, "Let's get a drink. I'll tell you after a drink."

"She was very nice." The angel commented, "Talkative. Seems like she could carry on a conversation all by herself."

"Probably does."

After a thoroughly disapproving look, Aziraphale continued, "Intelligent. Very warm."

"Yes, yes, very personable." Crowley rolled his eyes.

"_I_ thought so." Once they reached the boardwalk that lined part of the river, the angel breathed a sigh of relief, "Pagan, though. Not that I have any problem with that. Some are very nice people."

"Sure, sure." Crowley glanced sidelong him, "You're looking to convert her, aren't you?"

"Nice girl." the angel repeated, then continued, "Goes to bible camp every summer."

"Wow." Crowley wasn't sure why he had said that, and was quite embarrassed that he had. 'Wow' was not a word to be used as he had just used it. 'Wow' did not apply to a girl who could tell her whole life story in ten minutes, or to a pagan going to a Christian Camp. He headed towards his Bentley.

"Let's walk a bit. You said something about getting a drink."

"We can drive and get a drink."

"Walking," The angel said primly, "is nicer." he planted his feet securely on the wood. The demon sighed, rolled his eyes and walked back to him.

"Where to?"

"Let's walk until we spot a bar."

Crowley looked around wildly, and then pointed, "Spotted."

Aziraphale looked in disgust at the one that he had indicated. "Not that one. Laura said there was one near a health food store she used to work at."

"I'm sure she did."

*Not that he would ever admit it.

**More to the point, everyone had pressed together to _make_ a middle.

*** The pentacle necklace may have helped with the identification

_Thank you and please review!_


	3. And then sssnoggin?

**Oh, drinking…They can get into so much trouble that way! Once again, thank you my ever favorite beta reader AChangeableMask! You are awesome! (Honest! She's a dear!) And thank you to everyone who read…even if you didn't review it…**or even ask for an alert for it…_yes this is my badly disguised attempt at guilt tripping…reviews make me happy!_** Once again, thank you for reading this!**

_How am I supposed to explain to the angel that a seventeen-year-old thought we were in love? _

_He must know that there is a different sort of, well… feelings I guess, out there than the gooey Eternal Forgiveness/Patience/Acceptance/Love stuff that angels are supposed to feel for everyone. I mean, HE watches the news. Even here. Which is really weird, I mean, who needs to watch the news when they're on vacation? Or ever? News is for losers…even if they are angels…oh, would you like to join the other wine in my stomach? You must be lonely… _

This was Crowley's internal thoughts after the fifth drink.

After the tenth drink, Aziraphale asked him again.

Too drunk to care, Crowley replied, "She finksss you an' I 'ookup." He hiccupped.

"Huh?"

"Make-out. Sssnog. Go be'ond sssnogging. Finksss we in love." Hiccup.

The angel appeared thoughtful. They had another drink. "Beyond?" he finally asked.

"Do I 'ave to drew a picture for you, angel?"

The angel flinched. "Oh." He then appeared to even more thoughtful. They had a few more drinks. "Well, we could always give it a try."

"Are you being ssseriousss angel?"

Aziraphale looked affronted, "Yes!"

"Okay." Crowley looked blurrily over at the angel. _He is cute, I suppose.* In an angelic sort of way._ He leaned over and pressed his lips against Aziraphale. And was promptly pushed off of his barstool. "What wasss that for?"

"That's not how things are done!" Azirapale cried, shocked. He was mildly ashamed by his actions as the demon's hurt expression stared up at him. Even with the glasses on, the demon managed to look like a puppy that had just been kicked. "Well, not by humans, anyway."

The expression changed to distinct confusion, "Isss, actually. Get drunk. Make-out. Have-"

"Crowley!" The angel shouted, reproving him, "I meant sober humans."

The demon struggled to stand up. "Sssome don't get drunk before they-"

"I meant," Aziraphale persevered, "dating."

"Oh." The demon brightened, "Then drinking and sssnogging?"

The angel sighed, "Maybe."

"Kay." The demon had another drink. "Let'sss figer this out in the morin'."

"Yes. Let's."

That was at 8:30.

At 9:00, Aziraphale had to prop Crowley up outside the door, so he could go back in and pay. He leaned inelegantly against the wall, attempting to sleep without Aziraphale noticing. It didn't matter that the angel wasn't there to see him.

"Oh, you are horridly drunk, aren't you?" An all-too-familiar voice called out. "Where's your designated driver?"

"What'sss," A part of Crowley's brain hit him for hissing in front of a human. The rest of his inebriated mind ganged up against it and beat it to a pulp, "a desssignated driver?"

"Crowley, where did you park the Bentley?" Aziraphale called as he exited the bar, "Oh, hello, again."

"That's your designated driver?" Laura pointed at the angel.

"What's one of those?" Aziraphale asked brightly.

"The person who doesn't get drunk so that he can drive everyone home."

"Angel," Crowley had considered saying Aziraphale's name, but realized that after the first syllable, the name would be unrecognizable, "You drunk?"

"Yes, I do believe I am."

"'Ow many do 'ou fink we 'ad?"

The angel furrowed his brow, as if attempting to do an extremely complex math problem. "Lots."

"So you're not driving? Who is?" Laura asked, "You could get a taxi."

"Nah. We'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will be. It's everyone else that I'm worried about."

"Why?" Aziraphale placed Crowley's arm around his neck, and his arm under the demon's other arm.

"You could hit someone! He's not the one driving, is he?"

"'e's not drriving my Bentley!" Crowley protested.

"No, no, 'course not," Aziraphale comforted him, "But you'll have to sober up first."

"Yeah. Got it." Crowley nodded, "Yeah. When 'e ge' at the Bentley. Sober up then."

Laura threw her hands in the air. "Alright, I'll walk you two there. Then I'll-"

"Laura?"

"Oh, no." Crowley murmured, "There are mor' of 'em."

"It's alright. She's one of my friends. " Laura sighed, "What?"

"I'd ask why you're walking with two drunks, but I wouldn't get a straight answer."

"Yep, definitely mor' of 'em."

"Walking them to their car. I met them at the concert, remember? I _told_ you-"

"It's not safe talking to strangers." Her friend scolded her, "Are they from England or something?"

"Yeah. London."

"Then give them the number for a cab, tell them about 911, and let's get back."

"Being responsible does not suit you."

"Someone has to be." The friend sighed, "Here. I'll call up for the local taxi number, and _you_ explain 911."

"We'll be fine, thank you." Aziraphale insisted.

"Nah, nah. I just have to keep her in line every now and then. We'll help you out." The friend pulled out her phone, "You talk to them."

"Right." Laura stuck out her tongue, "911. You dial that if there's an emergency. You've probably got something like that in England."

"Came up with it." Aziraphale muttered.

"That's nice." The friend said comfortingly, "It really is. Where is your car again?"

"On a road."

She frowned. "Which one?"

"By the, the… water."

"Oh, _bravo_. It's New London County. Do you know how much water there is around here?" Laura rolled her eyes.

"The, the, the… like a long, thin lake."

"The river?"

"Yeah. That thin'."

"Did you leave it in front of the park?"

"Yeah. Concert place."

"I'll get him there, don't worry. The car's a bit hard to miss." The angel piped up. "Here, write down that emergency number, and that taxi one." He managed to pull a note pad out of his pocket. The friend blinked at him, then scribbled down the numbers. "Thank you."

"'ou can go 'way now."

The girl sighed, "Laura, you pick weird people to talk to."

Laura smiled, "It's your fault. I mean, you went off somewhere-"

"_You_ went off. I was eating my ice cream."

"Could have danced while eating your ice cream."

"Ice cream deserves to be savored!"

"You eat slow anyway!"

"If we walk 'way, quiet-like, dey migh' no' no'ice us." Crowley told the angel. He attempted to tap the side of his nose. He unsteadily managed to poke himself in the eye. "Ow."

"Oh, shush. We've probably been friends longer than you two have."

"Oh?" Aziraphale asked politely.

"Since third grade. What is it, almost 9 years now?"

"Yep. What are your names anyway? That is, if you can remember them."

Crowley smiled, "'m Crawly. He' 'zira-ira-raphe-el. And that," He pointed rather unsteadily at a black car, "Is the Bentley."

"Oh, that is a _nice_ car!"

"You can't drive."

"Neither can you. That doesn't mean I can't admire a nice car. How long have you had it?"

"'s a 1926 model. Good car. Lasted me through fire 'n ever'thin'."

"Well," The angel chirped, "We'd best be going. Thank you for your help." He helped Crowley into the driver's seat, then got into the passenger's seat himself.

"Well, goodbye!" The girls yelled, even as Laura's friend dragged her up against a store front. The angel waved back at them, and the demon gunned the car down the street.

"How drunk were they?"

Laura shrugged as they watched the car disappear. "Very."

"Amazing how well he can drive, drunk like that."

"Well, you saw the game for that drunk driving thing at school. How many got past the last level?"

"Most everyone, I think."

"How'd you do?"

"Name's too far down the list. I wasn't called in. You?"

Laura shrugged again as they crossed the street, "I think I was too busy doing something else to give it a try. I want a car like that."

"It was a nice car."

"Laura!" Her mom's voice called out. "Time to go!"

*Crowley was under the mistaken impression that Laura had called Aziraphale cute, not him. This may have been for many reasons, but the real one was that Crowley did _not_ believe that 'cute' fit him, the same way that 'Crawly' was not _him_.

_Please review! I'll give you tea! This is my poorly disguised attempt at bribery! Hope one of these tricks works!_


	4. If your friends jumped off a bridge

**Once again, a loud and resounding Thank you thank you thank you to my beta, who really is too nice for putting up with me. Thank you to the two wonderful reviewers who reviewed Chapter 3! And thank you to everyone who is taking time to read this! Yay!**

"I thought," Crowley started, "we agreed that staying two days in anyone place was overdoing it."

"That was only for cities."

"So it only counts in places like San Francisco, New York City, and Chicago?"

"Don't forget Boston. Although that did have a nice little historical section."

"It was a bunch of bricks." Crowley muttered.

"That was only Ben Franklin's birthplace! The museum was wonderful."

"Cough_boring_cough."

"Very funny, dear. Besides, it's best to stay in one place when you are starting a relationship."

"What in the world have you been reading?" The demon asked, looking very concerned. He searched for a name, "Seventeen?"

"Don't be silly." The angel replied primly. "I just heard it on the Travel Channel."

"Huh." Crowley sighed, "Well, that must be the beach concert place."

"Very refreshing. I must say, there is some very nice scenery around here." The angel looked cheerfully out towards the bridge. They slowly inched forward through the heavy traffic. "Crowley!"

"Huh?"

"Look up there! On my side! There's someone who looks like he's about to jump off the bridge!"

"Best let him get on with it, then."

"Crowley! The poor dear! He's got a couple of friends with him, and, oh dear, one girl's _sobbing_…"

"Pity."

"Pull over." The angel announced.

"Why?"

"We've got to help, Crowley!" Aziraphale fumbled with his door. Rather than let the Bentley get hurt, the demon pulled over with a heavy sigh, and let the angel out.

They were only five feet away when one voice drifted into Crowley's ear and made him stop, turn around, and start back towards the Bentley. Aziraphale had to drag him back to the group.

The blonde girl who had been sobbing stopped when they came by and called out, "Laura! This makes seven!"

"Do we know them?"

"Laura?" Aziraphale asked. Crowley attempted to drag him back.

"Oh! Aziraphale! _And_ Crowley! How wonderful!"

Aziraphale looked hopelessly confused, "Your friend was going to jump off the bridge!"

The boy hopped over the railing with a very untrustworthy smile. He looked smart.* "Hello."

The other girl, this one a brunette, strolled over, "Who are you?"

"Tourists." Crowley sighed. "Tortured tourists."

"I met them over at the concert, remember?"

"Oh! You'd be the drunks." The brunette girl said cheerfully.

"Where is your other friend?" Crowley asked distrustfully.

"Tara? Oh, she couldn't come."

"That's such a pity." Crowley said, his tone making it clear that he didn't find it a pity. At all. "Now, if you'll excuse us-"

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" Aziraphale frowned.

"Pretending to commit suicide."

Crowley added their explanation of exactly why and what they were doing to his list of why both heaven and hell should give up and just keep count of who they get. It ran like this:

They had jumped of the bridge before, numerous times. It wasn't a long fall, and the feeling of falling with nothing to catch you was thrilling. So they had got to talking and decided to mess with people's mind. The boy (David, they learned his name was), was to stand on the outside of the bridge, while Laura and Kyla (the brunette) pulled on his arms, pretending to plead him to come back over, and Amanda (the blonde) was to pretend to sob into her hands. This was to test the gullibility of human, (and apparently, angelic) nature. So far three people had stopped, cell phones in hand, to call the police if needed. One more person had prayed over him, asking for guidance. Another had actually given him a very moving speech, about life, love, and how he should face everything head on and not cop out. David had jumped four times.

Crowley added the experiment because:

When he jumped, the four, upon discovering the scam were, without doubt, angry. They would take the anger out on the party at the beach concert. This would ruin several concert-goers good times, who would go home and take it out to the people there, and then post it online.

When David _didn't_ jump, he gave someone an extremely good feeling, and, undoubtedly went on to brighten the days of several people. The person was contented with the fact that they had saved someone else's life when no one else had been able to, and would spread the tale of his or her good deed, brightening the days of several people with the innate goodness of human nature.

"That's not a nice thing to do, you know."

"So, seven people stopped, yeah? How many passed you by?" Crowley asked brightly.

"I counted twenty nine cars, three vans, and one bicycle." Amanda piped up.

"Ah, human nature." Crowley smiled, "Well, you'd best get on with it." He firmly grasped the angel's shoulder and wrist, and dragged him back to the Bentley.

"But Crowley! What they're doing is wrong!"

"No, not really wrong. I mean, he isn't really committing suicide, is he? They aren't hurting anyone, are they? They aren't lying to anyone any more than actors lie to an audience. It's just a bit of…sleight of hand." They managed to hit a break in the traffic, and got across the bridge in a minute. "Besides, angel, they're just experimenting. Nothing wrong with it. Just a bit of fun."

"But you approve of it! It _must_ be wrong!"

"No, that doesn't mean anything. Look, let's just forget about it. Who told you about this concert, hey?" He asked, falsely cheerful.

The angel looked guilty.

"Who?"

"You wouldn't like it if I told you."

"_Who_, angel?"

"Laura."

There was a moment of silence.

And another, even longer, more sober one.

After another moment of silence, Crowley finally asked, "You found her, talked to her, then asked her where we should go on our first date?" His voice was calm, but it was the sort of calm before a storm where the heavy waves keep lapping up onto the shore.

"No." The angel frowned, "Now dear, don't go blowing up. You decided that we should go to a concert, and not out to dinner. I was left to find a concert. I was walking through that mall that they have and ran into her. She mentioned that they have concerts here on the beach every Thursday."

Crowley paid the five dollars for admittance. He was silent.

"Look, it's a nice beach, with rock music, as you requested."

More silence.

"And they sell wine."

A sullen, deliberate, sort of silence.

"We can get horrifically drunk, if you'd like."

The angel got the feeling he was holding up a two-sided conversation all by himself. "Is there something you'd like to ask me?"

"Well, I was just wondering why you didn't tell me."

"Because I knew you wouldn't approve and then you wouldn't go."

"So?"

"Would you have liked to go see Shakespeare-in-the-Park instead?"

"All I'm saying is, you should have told me."

"But then you wouldn't have gone." Aziraphale sighed. "Please, dear, forget about it."

Crowley frowned, but then the song, 'I Wanna Break Free' drifted into his hearing range, and he smiled. He turned to face the angel, who's hopeful, worried, and guilty expression melted him a little more.

"You're right, angel. You thought it was a good idea. Did you bring anything to eat?"

"No." The angel admitted guiltily, "I brought money. They have a concession stand right over there."

Crowley stared at his face. Obviously, the angel hadn't learned anything from the rest of America. To start with, he was convinced that everywhere he went there would be edible food, so long as it was not a fast food restaurant.**

"Well," He started, "we can always change the food to something better, Let's go get some grub."

*In both senses of the word.

**The angel really needed to get his head out of England.

**Oh, a weekly update! I'm getting better about this. Every Tuesday, until the entire story is up. Good idea? Yea or nay? Well, thank you to everyone who is reading this, and a very special thank you to Idiot Number 42 and to KatrinaEagle for the reviews…(but I'll throw in another bit of begging, pleading, and bribery for another review! PLEASE? Pretty please? I'll send you tea!)**

**Please review! Reviews are sunshine and mean good days to writers!**


	5. Shopping and Ducks

_**Once again, many thanks to my beta! And thank you to the THREE reviewers from the last chapter!**_

_**I do not own any Good Omen characters! They belong to Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.**_

_**Aziraphale and Crowley go shopping and run into a few of old friends…well, when I say friends…**_

Crowley, after the fudge shop, was more amiable to the fact that Aziraphale was dragging him around the small outdoor shopping area. The angel had led Crowley from one shop to the next buying trinkets and others knick-knacks.

"For the children," he had explained cheerfully, "We'd best get a menu of those flavors of ice cream, too. They're such dears."

Crowley refrained from reminding one of the 'dears' was the Anti-Christ. It seemed in bad taste.

They had also picked up a book on computer called, 'Computers for Dummies' and another called, 'Herbs and Herbalism'.

"For that sweet couple."

Who, Crowley also didn't announce, did not need a book on plants, because of Anathema's having already owned them all, and the entirety of Lower Tadfield and the surrounding area did not need Newt to get interested in computers again. Ever.

They had also picked up a history of witch finders in New England, and a Ouija Board.

"For the Madame Tracy and her young man."

Crowley didn't mention that Shadwell had retired from witch finding, or that Madame Tracy only used a crystal ball for her séances.

He had also bought a hat and some new sunglasses for Crowley.

Actually, the hat wasn't all that bad.

Crowley, who would not admit it, or want the word used, had a crush on the angel, quietly bought him a rather interesting laser etched glass cube. It was a dolphin. Oh, and a very colorful ornament for his window. And maybe a spot of fudge, but he had to decide if he wanted to eat it himself.

Aziraphale let Crowley think he hadn't seen.

They were eating in a small Irish restaurant. It was quiet at that time of day, and the angel had told him that they weren't going to get horrendously drunk until later. They had to confront a small problem that popped up that morning.

Aziraphale had just woken up in his room when a small sphere of light had appeared.

And, much to his annoyance, asked where he was.

He asked what They wanted.

They wanted to know what the other side was doing.

He told them that he thought that would be nice too, but what did They expect-

They told him that he had to contact the demon. He knew which one.

He said, yes, he did, but honestly, did They just expect him to walk up to Crowley and say, 'Well, look, you all are a bad bunch, but what are you doing this Friday?'

They told him that he would figure out some sort of secret way to discover that.

He said that secrecy did not become an angel.

They said that it would, in this case, because he was in the right.

He sighed and replied that he would report back to Them as soon as he could. Now could he finish getting dressed?

The light had vanished.

Crowley, on the other hand, had just gone to bed when the TV started talking to him. The hotel must have replaced the wires that he had delicately ripped out of the sockets and cut to shreds.

They asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was going to attempt to build a colony of bed bugs in the bed to infect the entire hotel.

They told him to find out what the other side what up to.

He warily agreed that, yes, that sounds like fun. What did They expect him to do-

They told him to contact the angel.

He didn't ask which one. He wondered if They wanted him to actually ask what plans the angel and his pals had for Saturday night.

They wanted to know if the angel would respond to that.

He asked if They thought an angel would tell a demon what They were up to.

They told him, annoyed, to figure it out.

He said he would work on it.

They told him that he had better.

And the TV turned off.

He had just finished re-slicing the wires when Aziraphale had called. They had a small discussion. And Aziraphale had reminded him of the shopping date, and he hadn't forgotten, had he?

No, no of course he hadn't. What did the Angel think he was, an idiot? Crowley set his alarm clock for nine.*

They had agreed to talk later.

The noise of the Celtic music allowed them to discuss what had happened in full.

"Well, we aren't doing anything, I don't think." Crowley had replied, lazily. "You?"

"I think we're waiting for your side to do something, to be honest."

"Same here." He said glumly.

Aziraphale bought a piece of bread.

They went to feed the ducks. Crowley brought along a bit of juice to the pond.

Where, shockingly, They were waiting for them. The rest of the area was empty.

A black duck with eerily glowing, red eyes glared up at the sight of Crowley and Aziraphale together.

A white duck that managed to look heavenly quacked nervously.

Aziraphale had to hit Crowley on the back because he was choking. After thirty seconds, the demon managed to stop laughing.

"Quack."** The black duck announced.

Crowley absentmindedly ripped off a piece of bread and threw it to the duck. "Hello, Hastur. How are you?"

"Quack."

"Just getting around to it. Don't understand why _you_ don't just ask _him_."

"Quack!"

"Understood. Angel, what is your side up to?"

"Quack!" The white duck protested.

"I must wonder what you're doing as a duck, Metatron."

"Quack."***

"Do you know, Crowley, we were wondering the exact same thing?"

A chorus of quacks announced the two ducks disapproval.

"You said you wanted me to ask him!"

"I think it bothered them, asking so boldly."

"Quack!"

"Look, obviously we weren't cut out for this job. Why don't you two use the tack, deceptiveness, and intelligence in your nature to work it out?"

"Quack." The white duck turned to the black one thoughtfully.

"Quack." The black duck nodded. "Quack."

"Got it. Going to the other side to feed the normal ducks. Here's another piece of bread. One for you too, of course."

"How often do you talk to ducks?" A slightly chipper, mildly concerned, and partially entertained voice asked.

"Too often." Crowley muttered.

"Eek!" squealed a familiar voice.

"Oh my Go- Sa- Somebody." Crowley sighed, "She's following us."

"Oh, hush Crowley. Hello Laura! Is this another one of your friends?"

"Yes. I'm Katherine. How do you know Laura?" The girl smiled brightly.

"She's been stalking us for the last few days."

"Have not!" Laura announced, "I keep running into them."

"I'm Aziraphale and that's Crowley."

"Pleased to meet you." Katherine replied warmly.

"What are you doing here? That's a lot of bags." Laura asked.

"We were just doing some shopping for a few friends back in London."

Katherine led them to the gazebo on the edge of the pond. After a minute or so of the breaking up and dispersing of bread amongst the four, conversation started again.

Actually, after Laura had convinced Aziraphale to let her go through the bags, conversation started again.

"So, why are you two in this charming village?"

"I have to go back to school soon. I wanted to get a few things to decorate my dorm, and I asked Laura to come."

"What," Laura started, "do you need four light sabers for?"

"Adam, Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale needed some."

"Anyway," Crowley continued, "why aren't you around when Laura's doing something…"

"Silly." Katherine inserted, "Because I don't let her do silly things."

"I'm sure others try to stop her-"

"What's this?"

"It's a magic set. For Adam and the others."

"No, not really. They usually let her come up with things to do. More often than not what Laura wants to do is amusing."

"But what Katherine wants to do is interesting." Laura injected again, "Who needs a book on computers?"

"Newt."

"That's a horrid name. Oh! A Ouija Board! Where'd you get it! I want one!"

"No, Laura." The item dropped back into the bag.

"It was the last one." Aziraphale said, apologetically. "That's for Anathema."

"Oh." Laura put the book back.

Katherine threw the rest of the bread crumbs to the ducks. "Well, it's been so nice meeting you two. We really must be going. We have to go to a few other stores, and we're leaving at two."

"You too." Aziraphale said cheerfully. "Have fun. Good luck at college!"

"Thank you. Laura put that _down_."

Crowley managed to pull the toy blaster out of Laura's hands. "Yes, Katherine." She said with some amusement and vague disappointment.

"Goodbye!" Katherine said cheerfully.

"Yes. Goodbye. Come _on_, angel."

*He had, actually, forgotten. Crowley had gotten drunk again after driving back to the hotel. He had been carefully removed from the elevator by a few bellhops, once they had stopped him from dancing to the music.

**Much like the orangutan's 'Ook', a duck's 'quack' can mean many things. This quack meant "You stupid idiot, what are you doing with the angel here? Do you know how long I've had to float along here, waiting for you? By the way, is that Irish soda bread?"

*** "Look, Aziraphale, you've always been a good angel. Don't start being a smart one as well."

_**Thank you to Idiot Number Four, KatrinaEagle and Saina Tsukino for your reviews! Reward for a review this time is hot chocolate! Rewards are given because reviews make me smile! **_

_**Hope you liked our Duck of Hell…come on, I know some of you were wondering what that meant on the character list!**_


	6. Water beesss?

_When last we left our heroes, they were sssober…_

They _had_ gotten drunk later, but not horrendously. And they had _not_ gone back to the duck pond. Aziraphale changed hotels for them. Crowley cut all of the wires in his room and read a book, which didn't start talking to him. Aziraphale watched "I Love Lucy" and no light popped up.

And they worried. They worried what would happen. They worried about the report that the other two would bring back to Them. They worried if they would end up as ducks themselves.* They worried about the other one. They worried about the humans. They worried about the Earth.

They would have another drink.

And then they would worry some more.

Crowley fell asleep after a while, and was shocked when he woke up to the angel drinking at his minibar.

The angle glanced over at him blurrily. "Mine ran out."

The demon wandered over to the bar himself and grabbed a drink at random. It was vodka. It became wine.

They drank quietly for a while.

"We ssshould do sssomethin' to. To. To forge' abou' today."

"Thought that's what this was?"

"Nah. Thisss isss jussst gettin' drunk."

"Huh." Aziraphale reached for another bottle. He got a beer. He drank wine.

"We need to do sssomthin'. Didn' you sssay sssomethin' abou' an aqua-akwere-ace-place that holdssss the thingsss with little floppy thingsss?" Crowley puffed up his cheeks and placed a hand a each cheek, waving them back and forth. "Like dolphinsss? Cept not. Sssmaller. Like in that movie. Nemo? Nah. 'sss never Nemo."

"Sharks?"

"Nah, that'sss not the movie."

"No, dolphin like things."

"Sssharksss isss sssmaller than dolphinsss?"

"Sometimes."

"Huh." Crowley finished off the bottle. "We ssshould go there though."

"Why?"

"Caussse. Wanna sssee thossse thingsss that sssting people."

"Bees?"

"Nah. Don't think ssso."

"Could be bees."

"Inna ocean?"

"Water bees?" The angel asked hopefully.

"Maybe." The demon answered. He grabbed another bottle. It turned out to be a bottle of soda. It turned into a bottle of wine.

"Could go. Think that they also have whale things."

"Killer whalesss?" The demon asked hopefully.

"Nah. Don't thinks so. Maybe. No, think it's belugas. Can swim with them, I think."

"Why?" Crowley asked suspiciously.

"Dunno. Think for income."

"Wha' do the whalesss need money fo'?"

"Fish."

"They gotta buy their own?"

"Guess so."

"Huh. Tough world out there fo' sssea life."

They drank for three more hours.

Crowley fell asleep again.

An hour after that, Aziraphale sobered up, and looked around the small room. He cleaned up the bottles, glasses, and bowl. He carefully placed the bottles in a bag, tied off, for the maid. He washed the dishware. He cleaned off the counter. He miracled off the wall drawings, supposedly of dolphins, sharks, ducks, and, in one very hopeful case, a care bear.

Crowley was still asleep.

Aziraphale sat down in the arm chair, and tried to turn on the TV. There was a faint spark and he had to put out a fire before he could sit down again.

He wandered around aimlessly until he noticed that Crowley was starting to stir. He made up two cups of hot chocolate. He brought the cups over to the nightstand, and dragged over a chair next to the bed. He took a moment to admire the demon, who was laying on his side. His sunglasses, which he had forgotten to take off, were twisted so that they managed to cover one cheek and half of his forehead.

He carefully brushed a length of hair from the demon's forehead. After a minute the demon's eyes slowly opened to the nurturing and affectionate gaze of the angel.

"What the f-?"

"I made you some cocoa. You need to get ready."

"For what?"

"We are going to the aquarium." the angel announced. "Here's your cup. Get up."

"Okay, now sirs," The trainer frowned, "Sir, I must request that you take off your sunglasses."

Crowley sighed, and almost responded. Aziraphale, tired of hearing the argument, took them off and handed them over to another trainer.

"Thank you sir."

"It's nothing." The angel smiled.

The trainer smiled winningly over at Aziraphale, while studiously avoiding Crowley's eyes. Later she would tell her friends about the gay couple that looked like one owned a bookshop and the other one probably threatened plants and kicked puppies. Her best friend would just smile and say, "Well, it takes all sorts. Were either of them cute?"

It took a few more minutes to finish explaining the procedure before they were let into the water. When they got in deep enough, both of the belugas swam up to the angel.

"So sweet." The angel said happily "Such lovely animals."

Crowley glared at him as he floated alone, five feet away. One of the belugas hit him with it's tail. The trainer smiled awkwardly, "It looks like they have a favorite."

Aziraphale looked up over at Crowley helplessly. "Come over here, dear."

"Why, angel?"

("And they called each other such sweet nicknames, Ann," The trainer would remark, "Such dears, honestly.")

"Because. It worked with the ducks, that first time."

"That was because I went out and bought expensive bread."

"Look, dear, if they think we're friends, they'll like you."

"It might work." The trainer called out. ("Neither of them knew a thing about the Belugas though. Total nimrods.")

Slowly, the demon swam over. One of the belugas bumped him away from the angel. Aziraphale grabbed Crowley's hand and dragged him next to him. "Pet one, dear. They don't bite."

"Unless you're a fish."

"Dear." Aziraphale grabbed Crowley's hand and pulled it out towards the beluga, who shied away. Stubbornly, Crowley pulled his own hand away.

The trainer had to pull a back floating Crowley out and push the belugas away from Aziraphale at the end of the session. "Thank you sirs! Have a good day!"

"You too!" Aziraphale called cheerfully. They got changed back into their regular clothes.

"Let's go." Crowley sighed.

"Nah." Aziraphale smiled, "Let's go see those water bees."

Crowley frowned but followed the angel. They walked by the beluga tank again. Aziraphale missed the face that Crowley made at them, because they had studiously followed Aziraphale, watching him from behind the glass.

The belugas saw Crowley's face and the trainers had to force them back into the water.

They saw the water bees.**

You don't want to know what Crowley did to the starfish.

It's bad enough knowing that he almost convinced the penguins to sacrifice one of their members to him.

It's worse than knowing that the fish, even the piranhas, would not eat for a week.

However, Aziraphale was more upset at him for the situation at the Sea Lion Show.

"For the last time, Crowley, _sea lions do not eat people, and sand tiger sharks do not eat sea lions._"

"That's squid, isn't it? I _knew_ something was off."

"I'm just happy that no one got hurt."

"That was the best show!" A voice squealed. Crowley started to drag the angel into the crawl spot for children.

"It was horrible, Laura! Imagine if one of them got hurt!"

"I liked the whole bit where the Sea Lions tried to eat that idiot who spilled soda on the ground."

"Sea lions eat _fish_! _And_ I doubt they were actually trying to eat him."

"He also blocked my view."

("We are not hiding, Crowley. What if they had hurt her?"

"All the better. _Stalking_ us, I'm telling you." He tugged on the angel's sleeve again.)

"That does not mean that they were trying to eat him."

Laura's eyes finally rested on the two supernatural entities. "Hannah! Those are the two guys I told you about! Aziraphale! Crowley!"

The angel managed to pull the demon out of the tunnel. "Hello."

"This is my friend Hannah."

"So very nice to meet you."

"You too." Hannah glanced over at the demon, who glared at her. "Are we bothering you?"

"No." Aziraphale assured her. "How have you been?"

"Wonderful! And you?"

"We're just exploring the area right now. Such a charming place."

"There was a lot of trouble here. Did you see the show?"

"Yes. I thought it was horrible and _biologically inaccurate_." The angel said with a glare of his own.

"I thought it was funny." Crowley muttered.

"I thought it was awesome. It wouldn't have been if anyone had been hurt, or if the animals themselves were in trouble, but since they aren't I think it's cool. I just want to know how the sharks got in there."

"I waved my hand, a hole appeared, the sharks swam through…" Crowley murmured.

"They used to have dolphins here." Hannah reported.

"Oh?" Aziraphale asked politely.

"They ought to have stayed with those shows. Dolphins are smart." Laura announced. "Wouldn't have had all the fuss if there had been dolphins."

"Hey, angel, what's the difference between dolphins and other fish?" Crowley asked brightly, "Here's a hint: _It's not that they mate out of the water._"

Laura looked at the angel, "You thought that?"

"No!" Aziraphale frowned at Crowley, "I was just a bit drunk." He explained.

Hannah glanced around, "Laura, you know what would be so cool to see?"

"THE SHARK EXHIBIT!" She squealed.

"I was actually thinking about the 3D deep sea thing, but sharks would be cool too." Hannah smiled, "Do you two want to come?"

"Actually-"

"We would love to." Aziraphale smiled, "Lead the way."

* * *

*Actually, Crowley didn't think that life as a duck would be that bad. Ducks were always fed, didn't get shot at if they lived in the city, and were adored by children. And, as he later pointed out to Aziraphale, they might even be able to live in the same pond.

**Jellyfish. They also visited the stingrays, and Aziraphale had to yell at Crowley for 'accidentally' hitting a girl into the tank.

_I really do think that Crowley will never, ever, let Aziraphale live the 'dolphins' thing down. Ever. I actually did a good bit of research before the Incident at the Sea Lion Show, so please review! Please! Reviews are love! And equal a cup of tea!_


	7. Being You

_Oh, lets see, I owe many, many thanks to my Beta, who made insisted on major revision to this chapter, and made it so much better. Also for betaing the last chapter-I didn't open with a thank you to that one! So thank you, dearest beta, and thousand thank yous to everyone, especially Idiot Number 42, and everyone else who I missed last chapter!_

_

* * *

_

"When, exactly, did I agree to this?" Crowley's question came as they wandered to sit out in the Bentley.

"You didn't." Aziraphale sighed, for quite possibly the 50th time, "I did."

"_Why?_" The demon asked in abject horror. "_When?_"

"At the aquarium, when you were bothering the seals." The angel frowned disapprovingly at his, well, let's say _friend_. "I agreed because _she_, at least, is a perfect dear whenever we run into her. Unlike one entirely ungrateful demon I could mention."

"Who? You can't mean me. I'm grateful. You wouldn't have done something stupid like agree to have us do a duet."

The angel looked down, "Such nice grass they have here. So very green."

"You didn't. Angel, of all the stupid, dull, unintelligent, horrific things you could have done, _please tell me you didn't do this._"

"It's not a bad song if you must know. Tara picked it out. She said it was perfectly lovely, even though I don't know why Laura kept giggling and elbowing her." The angel sighed, "Laura will find us when it's almost our turn to sing. Besides, everyone else is going to have to sing too. You would have been stuck with something horrid, if I hadn't advocated for us."

"Oh, yes, I completely forgot. Something horrid, did you say? Like what?"

"Laura said that who ever didn't pick would have to sing Bowie."

"You are making me sing a duet to-" The demon paused, "To what exactly?"

"It's called Just By Being You, by Steel Magnolia."

"To some song I have never heard of, as a duet, with you, when I could have been singing to David Bowie?"*

They sat down in the Bentley. The angel frowned, troubled, "I thought you would have approved of us doing a duet together. Seeing as we're dating."

"That does not mean that we do everything together. Besides, Aziraphale, _I don't sing_."

"I thought we had agreed we were going to be doing this like humans."

"Now you're going to say I'm only after you for your body."

"Well, aren't you?" The angel glared over at the demon frostily.

Crowley stared at the angel in perfect shock, his mouth attempting to form a response. The only problem was that his brain wasn't agreeing on which one. Various taunts ("Angel that is the most lewd thing you've _ever_ said!"), insults ("Angel, if I only wanted you for your body my standards have suddenly become very low.") and comforting phrases ("But Angel, I actually like spending time with you!") fought for control. Eventually, he sighed and answered, "Aziraphale, while you are very cute, you really are, do you think that I am so shallow as to use you for that purpose? _Don't answer that!_"

The angel frowned, and shook his head. "But I think I lov-"

"Don't say it." The demon muttered.

Aziraphale looked shocked, "Why, Crowley, you aren't afraid of the _word_ are you?"

"Wary."

Now he looked flabbergasted, "But _why_?"

"Look at how it works out for humans!"

"Honestly, Crowley my dear." The angel sighed, "Just last night on the news I saw a story about a couple who have been married for eighty years."

"To who?"

"Each other!" The angel snapped.

"Longevity and old-fashioned values. Respect and an understanding."

"Cynic!" The angel shouted, pointing a perfectly manicured finger.

"Yes." The demon sighed, covering his face with his hand. "I'm a demon, angel. Cynicism is what I _do_."

The angel sighed, and closed his eyes. "Crowley…"

"Yes?"

"Stop being an idiot."

Crowley looked up, affronted and alarmed, "What? What'd I do?"

"Love-don't sneer, dearest-is like magic."

"Nonexistent?" The demon asked wryly.

"No! Not like that, dear. I meant, that it is a powerful force that can shape people's lives, but is never properly understood in a lifetime." The angel turned his loving, peaceful, and ever hopeful gaze to the demon, who turned his head away. Gently, Aziraphale turned Crowley's face back to his. "But we've had plenty of lifetimes."

The demon turned his head away and mumbled, "We're only trying this out, remember?"

The angel smiled softly, "Of course my dear. Just as you say."

"Not that I don't like you. It's just uncharted territory."

The smile became triumphant, "Yes, dearest."

"And we are _not_ telling anyone."

"No, dear."

Crowley's reluctant gaze met the angel's honest, and-

Some one knocked on the window of the Bentley. The one face Crowley did not want to see appeared in the passenger side window. "Hello?"

Crowley rolled down the window. "Yes?"

Laura looked between the two of them. "Oh. Sorry. Did I just interrupt a moment?"

The angel smiled, "It's quite alright. Now, what was it you wanted?"

"Your song. You two are up after this next one."

Crowley glared over at the angel.

"Did I _really_?" Laura did not seem embarrassed or ashamed. She, in fact, seemed vaguely amused. "You two were having a moment? And I _really_ interrupted it? I've got to tell everyone."

It was a good thing that the angel had Crowley's hands in his. And that Laura did not notice the way Crowley's face contorted.

"Well, you'd best get in there soon." She smiled, and they barely heard her as she wandered away, "I feel like Nanny Ogg…"**

Aziraphale had to pull Crowley out of the Bentley. And up on stage. Finally, after the angel had tightened Crowley's hand around the microphone, the music started up.

"Let's run away," The Angel started, judging correctly that Crowley would refuse to sing until he had.

Crowley eventually joined in and by the end of the song, he was actually rather getting into it.

"_I'll take off my halo_," The angel sang.

"_Oh, and I'll take off my wings_," Crowley belted out.

"_You don't have to be invincible, cause I sure ain't no saint, You'll always be my angel, no matter what you do_," They sang together. Despite the crowd, and the fact that they didn't put on the great performance, there was a group in the corner, with three or four of them smiling widely.

"I told you it was a good song. We all ought to go up next."

"It is a nice song. The way that they sing it though, it's like they don't mean it metaphorically." Katherine mused.

"We are not all going up to sing." Amanda sighed pointedly at Tara, who shrugged.

"I'm not going up to sing." Hannah shook her head.

"You could sing quietly. I'll sing loudly to cover your voice if you want." Laura offered.

"You'll sing loud anyway."

"And David gets a microphone to himself."

"Oh, god, no!"

"Thank you for your opinion Kyla."

"No problem."

"We could sing ABBA!"

"Hannah doesn't want to sing, Tara."

"Oh, the song's over. Clap, Tara." Hannah ordered.

"We ought to sing Waterloo!"

Hannah and Amanda sighed loudly.

The demon, after dragging the angel off the stage, got dragged over to the group. "Thank you for inviting us." The angel chirped.

"You're welcome." Laura shrugged.

"You did like the song, didn't you?" Tara smiled.

"It was a very well chosen song." Aziraphale agreed, although both supernatural entities missed the even more thoughtful look on Katherine's face.

Laura stood up, dragging Kyla and Katherine with her. Tara's eyes lit up and she stood up as well. "Are we going to sing ABBA?"

"Yes!" Laura cried, drowning out the sighs. "Let's sing Dancing Queen!"

The demon and angel dragged over two chairs and joined the three left over at the table. "So nice to meet you all again." Aziraphale told them.

"Good to see you too." Hannah replied, "Oh dear, some one got to the stage before them. They'll wait right up close to it now to sing."

"What sort of song is this?" Aziraphale asked.

"This is Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl."

"Oh." The angel frowned. "Hmm."

"So, I have a better question. Do you three have to sing too?"

"Yes. But we talked them into one big group song, so that counted." Amanda sighed.

"You know, when we first met Tara, she was much more…"

"Short? Up tight?" The demon offered as descriptors.

"Reserved." The angel chose.

"She doesn't believe in responsibility, but she's extremely responsible when no one else is around to be." Hannah supplied, "It's weird, but it's Tara and I think we'll keep her."

"Laura isn't responsible?"

"Laura is…" Hannah trailed off, "Laura."

They were silent until the Katy Perry song ended and the four girls each grabbed a microphone. Crowley got up and left halfway through the performance.

Ten minutes later, Aziraphale found him in the Bentley, "It wasn't that bad."

Crowley shrugged, "I'm sure. I just wanted to be alone with you. And not when you were dancing to Dancing Queen."

"That's sweet dear."

Crowley glanced over at the Angel, and their eyes met.

I'll leave it up to you what they did next. They might have gone back to the motel. They might have stayed there. Certain efforts may have been made. It may have been one kiss that promised years of forever. It may have been that 6,000 years finally caught up to them.

You'll have to use your imagination.

* * *

* The demon had listened to Bowie every now and then, due to the fact that the song 'Under Pressure' featured him. He approved of Bowie strictly on the basis that David Bowie was not Freddie Mercury.

**Nanny Ogg. Yes. I think she is perfectly good at interrupting moments. Quite possibly by singing.

* * *

_And that's all she wrote. A hundred thank yous for all of you who took the time to read it, a million thanks to the reviewers, even if you only reviewed once, and a nonillion thanks to my beta reader! _

_So please, please, PLEASE leave a review! Tell me what you thought of the whole story! Or just this bit of it. Thank you if you do. Really._


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